Arc Fiction
by drawingdisaster
Summary: A short peculiar tale about Jaune Arc's thriving career as a smut fiction writer.


Jaune Arc has been many different things in his admittedly short lifespan. He was the team leader of JNPR, an accomplished fraud and the partner of one of the most badass girls in all of Remnant, Pyrrha Nikos. He was a connoisseur of comic books, a self-taught musician and a huntsman in training. A man that could rock a dress and something probably extremely cool that his unrequited love, Weiss Schnee referred to with the affectionate code word: scraggly. It was probably something awesome like a dragon tamer or a mighty berserker. And yet there was one title that Jaune Arc possessed that nobody would have ever suspected and the blond knight had sworn to never reveal to anyone. Anyone! Not even his dear Pyrrha that had the heart of a real bro and the legs of a Dustboy model.

Jaune Arc was.. a smut writer. A mystical entity capable of creating alternative universes and mind-boggling possibilities! A man among men striving to explore the bedazzling obscure boundaries threading between romance fantasy and late night dust-tv programs.

The blond knight didn't know how or when exactly he had managed to take up this interesting hobby. It could have possibly been a miracle! The will of a forgotten lustful goddess planted into his teenage head like the mouthwatering images his hormonal brain had one day produced after the young man had discovered that old copy of Ninjas of Love shoved under his mother's mattress. Ah, that old book was probably the fifth gift of the infamous ancient wizard of old to the people of Remnant.

The book had soon become his one and only holy artifact and a beacon to a better tomorrow. And then his parents had forced him to attend the actual Beacon academy and his hopes of pursuing a career as a celebrated smut writer and teenage degenerate had almost been shattered before his very own eyes.

And yet even though Beacon had initially been a smut-less prison with no adult entertainment or forbidden dust-tv channels Jaune Arc had met some new interesting people and he had found something brand new and magical! Something beautiful and previously unattainable. No, no, no! Not love and friendship you dolts! Inspiration in buckets!

And so the young blond knight had traded his great-grandfather's shield and sword for an abundance of tissue paper and a bic pen and Jaune Arc had unleashed his imagination on the poor students of Beacon, and nothing had ever been quite the same afterwards.

Jaune had first observed Cardin, the meathead bully of the academy tormenting the faunus students. The next day an interesting story was uploaded on Beacon's discussion forums. The heartbreaking story of a twisted and previously mistreated by the White Fang hunter in training that lecherously attacked all faunus girls in sight as a revenge for the terrorists' crimes. There was even a mention of a particular rabbit faunus named Valvvet that used to be the cruel boy's childhood friend and now suffered the most from the bully's abuse since the boy was carrying a huge torch for her, but was too afraid of showing his true feelings and experiencing the miracle called love.

Cardin had became a laughing stock after that story was posted with people giving him pitying look and Velvet blushing every time she bumped into him in the hallways. Some Beacon professors had even been concerned enough to want to disguise with him about the correct ways to confess and flirt with someone and Miss Glynda had given him _the talk_. The whole experience had been extremely awkward to say the least and Cardin had from that day on stopped bullying students and badmouthing faunus.

But let's return back to Jaune for a moment. The subject of faunus girls in love had been pretty popular with both Beacon students and people visiting the discussion site. And so Jaune had managed to acknowledge the subtle approving nod fate had given him and decided to use his writing talent to bridge the gap between faunus and humans when Blake's true nature had finally been revealed. His next story, _Blake and the horny milk delivery man_ had been an instant hit with his fans and Blake had never been able to look at a milk bottle the same way afterwards.

Jaune Arc's writing career had skyrocketed from that point as his fans kept multiplying like the horny rabbit faunus girls staring in his stories and his readers practically devoured every romantic tale the young man uploaded on the dustnet. Beacon Academy had actually proven to be a blessing in disguise for the ambitious blond knight and Jaune's muse was seemingly in tune with every horny student's wavelength, weaving stories inside the cunning blond leader's brain like an old maid would weave embroidery.

Where people saw a disowned heiress, Jaune would see a rich girl abandoning her home before being taken advantage by her seemingly innocent, but inwardly perverted partner and team leader. The story featured whips and chains.

Where others saw a butthurt teacher wielding stern and prude glares like swords, Jaune would find a shy masochist that tried pretending to be a dominatrix. Blake's instinctual fear of dogs had led to him writing one of his greatest masterpieces, _Blake and the Corgi-beast's hunger_. Yang's love of danger and quick vehicles had become _the lustful mechanic and the club owner_ , and Ren wouldn't even allow him to sit near him or Nora during lunchtime.

And then Jaune had used his dear professors' love for the bitter brown beverage to write his award winning story, _three men, one pot_ and coffee had been indefinitely banned from Beacon. One of the aforementioned professors had suffered a mental breakdown.

Life was good for young Jaune Arc. He was weaving dreams and connecting souls. His latest story, _Blake in the Jaws of the cruel White Fang Lieutenant_ (people apparently really loved Blake. Or hated her, it was all a matter of perspective really.) was figuratively speaking of course selling like Pyrrha Nikos limited edition full body pillows on Black Dust Friday. Not that Jaune would know anything of that matter of course or had paid a huge sum of Lien to convince the seller to add a kitty tail and ears to his own pillow. Of course not! He just knew those things because a leader had to always be prepared!

Who knew, maybe naked body pillows could actually appease frenzied Beowolves and Ursas. Hey that was his story and he was sticking with it and Doctor Oobleck had once mentioned that research was important. And so Jaune Arc had done his research! On various search engines all over the dustnet and he had even used a wide variety of colorful keywords…

Well bottom line was that people were really digging his stories and even though his readers loved him and his success was unimaginable and _Chugging white mulberry syrup with Nora_ was being studied by the four secret smut writing academies of Remnant. (Ren had actually shot him, but his Aura had thankfully saved him that day), Jaune Arc still felt somewhat hollow and unfulfilled. So he finally decided to hire an animator and turn his masterpieces into adult cartoon series.

And so all was good and the war with the Grimm Queen had never occurred because Salem had never bothered attacking the last remnants of humanity in the first place. The dark Queen had been too preoccupied reading Jaune's stories about the brave huntsman and the cute female Grimm and she couldn't raze the whole world if she wanted to know which Grimm the handsome huntsman would end with at the end of the trilogy. Would he choose to marry the shy and protective Nevermore or the possessive and wild Beowolf that appeared in the sequel? Choices, choices.

Pyrrha had then later revealed to Jaune that her dream had always have been to become a hentai manga artist and the two of them had married and lived happilly ever after.


End file.
